


The art of deception

by oofandpeggy



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Iron Man 1, Iron Man 2, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Iron Man 3, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 11:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17043182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oofandpeggy/pseuds/oofandpeggy
Summary: There's the Tony Stark that the world knows, and then there's the Tony Stark only few people know.The real Tony Stark isn't how people think he is.





	The art of deception

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted in a very long while, sorry
> 
> Enjoy this fic that started out as a vent at midnight - I don't know what happened
> 
> but i apologise in advance

Tony was confident. He was smooth and sly. Growing up with the press, he had learned at a very young age that he had people to impress. He was constantly in the spotlight. Constantly watched. The whole world was watching him. Every move; every word; every little thing he had done was known by everyone and able to be accessed by anyone. He was a celebrity; an icon that the whole world looked up to. He influenced society with what he said and did. He couldn’t take anything back. Once it was done, it was there forever. Never forgotten. Easily accessed. 

Sometimes, he wished he had a normal life. Wished he didn’t feel like he had to live up to society’s standards. Wished the world wasn’t watching his life play out. Wished he wasn’t constantly judged for anything he did. He desperately wanted a life where he didn’t have to have the pressure of impressing everyone. 

Tony’s father wasn’t great. In fact, he was a piece of shit. He didn’t love Tony. If he did, he was just shite at showing it. Tony only longed for his father’s love and support. He wanted a father to tell him that he was proud of him. As a child, Tony worked hard to show Howard that he was worth his time. To show that he was just as smart as him. But even with that, Howard still turned him away. He just wanted to be at least acknowledged by him. Was it just too much to ask? For a father to be loving and supportive? Maybe Howard wasn’t cut out to be a father. (Of course he wasn’t, he was a terrible father.) 

Maybe that’s where the problems all started. With his father. Maybe if his father had been somewhat good at what he was supposed to do, he wouldn’t be overly self critical about himself. Maybe he wouldn’t think that everything he did wasn’t good enough. 

The Tony the world knew was different to the real Tony. He wasn’t confident and self-assured. He was hurting. Constantly. He never felt like he was good enough. Was he good enough? Was anything he did good enough? Were his inventions good enough? No. That was always his answer. No. 

And as life went on, it only became worse. 

The Avengers. A group put together to protect the Earth. To make the world feel safe. A group of remarkable and skilled people that were able to bring hope and stability to the world. A group that were meant to be friends. In a sense, they were. 

Tony cared for them; he really did. He showed that in his own way. He tinkered and built them their weapons. That was always the way he showed someone that they cared for them (with some exceptions). That was always the way he showed it. It was the only way he knew how to show it. It was a way to relieve his stress. Sometimes though, he felt like they didn’t care about him. 

Maybe it was his terrible self-esteem, but he often felt like he was cast out from the group. Like he didn’t really belong there. Sure, he was part of the Avengers but he didn’t think he belonged there as a friend. 

Ever since Afghanistan and becoming Iron Man, his mental health had deteriorated even quicker than before. Mixed with his depression and anxiety, there was PTSD. His mind was tainted with the memories of torture, the terrible surgery for his arc reactor and flying into that wormhole during the invasion. His dreams were replaced with nightmares that haunted his mind. That’s part of what caused the insomnia. 

He never slept. He couldn’t sleep. Thoughts plagued him, whispering from the back of his mind. A mantra. Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. He wished he was good enough. 

As a superhero, you can’t save everyone. A fact that Tony was yet to accept. The guilt was always there. People he couldn’t save. All those innocent people that died because he couldn’t save them. He should’ve been able to save them. He should’ve saved them. They had friends. They had family. Why couldn’t he save them all? 

The press was unforgiving. Always highlighting his faults and mistakes. Did that help him? Of course not. It only gave him another reason to keep on upgrading his suits and the Avengers’ weapons. He had to be able to save everyone. He needed his gear to be the best it could be. The whole world was relying on him; on the safety he brought to them. 

Therapy kinda helped. But then again, he had never been the kind of person that would talk about his feelings. He was never allowed to. (Another fault of Howard Stark.) He was given medication. At times, it felt like it really did help him but at others, it felt like there was no point in taking them. The ups and downs of his mental health, he guessed. 

He saw Pepper die. Well, she didn’t really die but he watched her fall. He thought she was dead. She should’ve been dead. If it weren’t for that damn Extremis that she was injected with, she would’ve died. He was thankful for that, but she shouldn’t have been kidnapped or injected with it in the first place. And that was his fault. He shouldn’t have let her get kidnapped. Now she had to have the memories of it. 

The Avengers - his second family. And although he felt cast out at times, he enjoyed having them live with him. He enjoyed having their company and the shenanigans they got up to. It was never truly uneventful when they were there. Their family was dysfunctional, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

In his quest to keep the world as safe as possible, he created Ultron. In theory, his plan was great. A robot that would bring safety to Earth. A set of hands around the world; protecting the whole population from the inevitable alien attack. If only it didn’t completely backfire. 

He didn’t expect Ultron to become evil. Nobody did. He just wanted another way to protect everyone. Apparently, that was just too much to ask. 

Ultron was built to protect the Earth, but instead wanted to destroy it. His plan was to kill the entire population of the planet. All of the innocent people. Everyone. 

That took a big toll on Tony. He was to blame. He created Ultron. Bruce was missing. He lost JARVIS and even though he now had Vision, he would never be the same. Anyone who died during that attack was on Tony. His fault, his fault, his fault. His mental health got worse. 

As he was still yet to fulfil his quest of ensuring the safety of the entire Earth, Tony kept on working. Working on new suits. Working on new weapons. Anything and everything to make sure everyone was safe. ‘You can’t save everyone.’ Bullshit. Tony would make sure that everyone was safe. He could save everyone. He had to be able to. After all of the innocent people he couldn’t save, he had to make sure there wasn’t anymore. 

But what happens when those weapons are used against him? The same weapons he gifted those he called family used against each other. They were meant to protect the world, not create what they called ‘the civil war.’ 

Betrayal. Betrayed by the people he cared for the most. He did a lot of things he regretted during that time. Blinded by rage and hurt, he became desperate to bring his family back together. He brought Peter into the fight. And even though he was definitely good enough to go into a fight like that, he was only a child. He didn’t have to be dragged into that. 

Rhodey. Oh god, Rhodey. He was paralysed. And it was his fault. Was it really his fault? No. But did he still think it was? Yes. But still, he made sure that Rhodey has the best damn leg braces that he could build. He would make it so he could walk again. 

Then, Siberia happened. Finding out the truth about the death of his parents, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Learning that someone he completely trusted had lied to him for years, he felt utterly betrayed. And then he was left there to die. 

He was alone. Again. He only had Pepper, Happy and Rhodey. And maybe Peter. Not that he meant to let Peter into his life like that, Peter just had a way of working his way into people's hearts. 

He gave Peter the suit. It was so much better than his homemade suit anyway. Such a drastic improvement. He was able to track how well Peter was doing and if he had any injuries. He also gave Peter an AI for his suit. Peter named her Karen which he found quite cute. 

That was until the ferry fiasco. He took away the suit. He had to take away the suit. It was to keep him safe. Peter couldn’t be responsible about having the suit. That would stop him, right? Wrong. 

Tony thought about if it was the wrong decision to take the suit away from Peter. No. It was definitely the right decision. He wouldn’t get hurt. He didn’t need the suit. He needed to learn that he could be something without the suit. He couldn’t have known that taking away the suit wouldn’t stop Peter. 

Peter, desperate to prove himself to Tony, went after Vulture on homecoming night. In the end, he didn’t know if he should have gone or not. Having a building dropped on you isn’t a great experience. But he saved the Avengers’ items and that’s what really mattered. To him, anyway. 

Tony was absolutely devastated when he found out what really went down on that night. Peter still went out in his fucking pyjamas after Tony took the suit. He took away Peter’s layer of protection. And now he was dealing with the PTSD of having the damn warehouse collapse on him. That was his fault. Everything was his fault. 

Even after Peter turned down the offer to be in the Avengers, they still stayed quite close. Peter was gifted the suit back and he visited the tower, which Tony decided to no longer sell, at least once a week. 

Tony loved Peter. Hell, even Pepper loved Peter. Have you looked at him? That boy is literally a puppy. At that point, Peter was basically Tony’s son. And Tony was basically a helicopter parent. Howard didn’t completely fuck him up. He was able to take care of his totally not-son. Fuck you Howard. 

Peter knew Tony; the real Tony. Despite what the kids at school said about his ‘Stark Internship’, he did actually know Tony Stark himself. And not the press Tony Stark™️, the real Tony Stark. He was one of the lucky few who knew what Tony was really like. Not like how the press portrayed him. He wouldn’t dare say it, but Tony was his father figure. (Honestly, both of them needed to fucking grow some balls and admit it; everyone knew that they were father and son.)

When Tony was with Peter, he finally felt like he was enough for someone. That someone being Peter. And really, to Peter, Tony was more than enough. He had looked up to Tony his entire life so now knowing him was kinda a mindfuck to Peter. 

But even so, Tony still wanted to ensure safety to all the people of Earth. Then, he made Mark 50. A nanotech suit that he can get in an instant. Even though it was quite a pain to get the whole mechanism installed (and a pain to have in his body,) it was well worth it if it made sure that Earth could be protected. 

It had been about a year since the ‘Civil War’. Still, no contact had been made between Tony and Steve. Tony didn’t really want to. Yes, he wanted his family back but could he really trust them all again? Would they betray his trust again? Steve lied to him for years. On something he had the right to know. Something he shouldn’t have found out about in Siberia. Forgivable? Probably not. He wasn’t mad at Bucky. He was never mad at Bucky. As much as he wanted to be, he couldn’t be. It wasn’t his fault that he was brainwashed and used by HYDRA. He was the weapon that HYDRA yielded. He was mad at the fact that the truth was hidden from him for years. Hidden from him by someone he put his complete trust in. 

The Avengers were no longer a reliable option when it came to protecting the world. Nobody knew where they were. Did Team Cap ever think about the consequences on the civilians of the world? They only had a handful of people left that they could put their faith in to keep their world safe. They lived in fear of what could happen without them. 

Infinity war. That’s what they called it. That was the inevitable invasion Tony always prepared for. What Tony had been thinking about ever since the invasion in New York. And another one was about to happen. 

It seemed like a somewhat normal day. It was a normal day. It should’ve been a normal day. Why wasn’t it a normal day? Just him and Pepper in that park. That’s how it should’ve stayed. Fate works in weird ways and it’s not always the way that it should be. 

Tony never thought he would ever actually have to go into space. And especially not with the kid. Peter was just meant to be help the little guys, not carry the whole weight of the world on his shoulders. Peter was a good kid. He already held grief and sadness yet still managed to keep a smile on his face at all times. He didn’t need to be corrupted by the demons and pain of the world. He didn’t need to see space as what it really was. 

Oh, yeah and Thanos was a fucking demon of a purple space grape. He stabbed- wait no, impaled Tony. He had the audacity to do so after talking so highly about him. He stood there, waiting for the black to start coming into the corner of his eyes. He was waiting for death. He was going to have the death he always wanted. Dying while saving the world; dying in honour. And he was, until-

“Stop.”

Looking over, he saw Strange. Didn’t he say that he would protect the time stone even if it cost him his life? He wasn’t just going to give over the time stone. This wasn’t the way they would win, right? This couldn’t be the only way.

“It was the only way.”

Well, shit. This is not how he expected any of this to go. And now Thanos was gone. He was sat there, helpless. Not knowing what would come next. Thanos had surely gone to Earth. He didn’t have the mind stone - Vision was still out there, alive. All he could hope was that those that were defending Earth could do so. He prayed to a God he didn’t even believe in that it would all go well.

First it was Mantis. Then it was Drax. Then it was Quill. Then Strange.

“Mr Stark?”

God please no. Not him. Not Peter. The sweet innocent boy Tony had grown to love. He had so much to live for. He had so much potential. An amazing future waiting for him.

“I don’t feel so good.”

Falling into Tony’s arms, Peter clutched desperately onto him as he begged for his life. Too young; too pure. Slowly fading away. Grasping on to Tony for his dear life. This wasn’t the way it was meant to go. He was meant to be peaceful, not in pain. Not begging for his life. Not meant to be a child when he experienced death.

He dusted. Ripped from existence. Ripped from Tony’s grasp. Tony sat there and waited for it too. He waited for the dust to come from his fingers and take him away from existence. It was his turn.

But, it never came.

For the first time in years, he cried freely. He didn’t hold back. Tears rolled down his stained cheeks, mixing with the blood from the various wounds situated on his face. He tasted the dust and the blood. He tasted the tears. He tasted the pain. He tasted the loss.

He failed. He failed to protect the Earth. He failed to protect the universe. He failed to protect Peter. This was all his fault.

_His fault. His fault. His fault. His fau…._

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if any of this is accurate as it all causes me pain - aka i didn't check for any accuracy
> 
> Tumblr: Leoneandpegs  
> I own it with my friend and her AO3 is piccololeone
> 
> Pls leave a kudo or comment i need validation


End file.
